Sibling Comparison - A Conscious Parenting Insight
Few months ago, it was dinner time. I had a lot of work to finish, I was desperate to wrap up the day and put the kids to bed. My daughter was already done with her dinner. But my son was taking his own sweet time to finish his meal.
My son has always been a slow eater. It can take 45 minutes to an hour for him to finish his meal. Most days, I let him eat at his own pace.
But that day, I was already exhausted after a long day of work and I still had more to do. Frustrated, I yelled - “How long does it take for you to finish your dinner? Look at your sister, she is already done. She is better than you!”.
As soon as I uttered these words, I regretted it. “Did I just tell my 4-year-old (at that time), that his 15-month-old sister was better than him.?”.
I looked at him. With teary eyes and a heart-wrenching sad voice, he said - “No! but I want to be better than Mimi”, and cried.
My mom guilt raised to its peak. I immediately hugged him and said,
“I am sorry, I did not mean to say that. You don’t have to be better than anybody!”.
I tried to console him and explained to him as to what made me angry, but how it was still wrong of me to yell. He got extra cuddles and an extra bed time story that night.
As a conscious millennial parent, I’ve always been mindful about not comparing my kids to other kids.
But it only just dawned on me, that I should be even more mindful about not comparing my own two kids and pitting them against each other.
It was definitely a teaching moment!
Both my kids have very different personalities, different eating habits, different strengths and weaknesses.
They are different people, they just have the same parent!
