Sibling Comparison - A Conscious Parenting Insight

Sibling Comparison - A Conscious Parenting Insight

Posted by Overthinking Aquarian on September 30, 2021 in conscious parenting, mindful parenting, mom with young kids. mommingandmore, motherhood, sibling comparison, sibling relationship, Sibling rivalry, workingmomblog,

Few months ago, it was dinner time. I had a lot of work to finish, I was desperate to wrap up the day and put the kids to bed. My daughter was already done with her dinner. But my son was taking his own sweet time to finish his meal. 

My son has always been a slow eater. It can take 45 minutes to an hour for him to finish his meal. Most days, I let him eat at his own pace. 

But that day, I was already exhausted after a long day of work and I still had more to do. Frustrated, I yelled - “How long does it take for you to finish your dinner? Look at your sister, she is already done. She is better than you!”.

As soon as I uttered these words, I regretted it. “Did I just tell my 4-year-old (at that time), that his 15-month-old sister was better than him.?”. 

I looked at him. With teary eyes and a heart-wrenching sad voice, he said - “No! but I want to be better than Mimi”, and cried. 

My mom guilt raised to its peak. I immediately hugged him and said, 

“I am sorry, I did not mean to say that. You don’t have to be better than anybody!”. 

I tried to console him and explained to him as to what made me angry, but how it was still wrong of me to yell. He got extra cuddles and an extra bed time story that night. 

As a conscious millennial parent, I’ve always been mindful about not comparing my kids to other kids.

But it only just dawned on me, that I should be even more mindful about not comparing my own two kids and pitting them against each other. 

It was definitely a teaching moment!

Both my kids have very different personalities, different eating habits, different strengths and weaknesses. 

They are different people, they just have the same parent! 

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Midweek Musings - "Grass is greener for that other mom!"

Midweek Musings - "Grass is greener for that other mom!"

Posted by Overthinking Aquarian on May 26, 2021 in mom decisions, momchoices, momlife, mommingandmore, motherhood, parenting, SAHM, stay at home mom, working moms,

 A mom blogger recently shared her feelings about how she took a break from her career to be a Stay at home mom (SAHM) to her toddler and how she was looking forward to the day she would resume her career some day, when the kid grows older.

ME - I've always been a working mom. It was never an option for me to take a break from work. There was never an option to choose being a SAHM. From a working mom's perspective, the daily juggle and maintaining the work life balance can get overwhelming at times, and there are days when I wish I did not have to deal with WORK. 

So, while reading this mom-blogger's post, all I could think of was how she had the privilege to even MAKE A CHOICE to stay at home. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of this woman who gets to spend so much quality time with her kid. 

I was consumed by my own perspective and my deep underlying mom guilt of not having enough time in a day to spend with my kids. (They are never satisfied even if I spend all my waking hours with them). 

I got the opportunity to have a quick chat with her. She so very gracefully explained her position and her point of view - "For many families, the cost of childcare may be more than what a parent would earn in a year. So the most obvious choice for them is to have one parent stay at home with the kid." (Yes - there are a lot of stay at home dads too!)

This made me think hard - Is this really in a position of privilege? What is the privilege here?

- Moms who MAKE the choice to pause their career to become SAHM

- Moms who have no other choice but to be a SAHM

- Working Moms who cannot give up their careers/jobs to be a SAHM and juggle both. 

Any path we take, any choice we make - each has its own challenges. All we can do is try our best! 

P.S: no take-aways from this. Just a working mom's midweek musings. 

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Motherhood does not define a Woman!

Motherhood does not define a Woman!

Posted by Overthinking Aquarian on March 08, 2021 in independant woman, mommingandmore, motherhood, strong woman, what defines a woman, whatdefinesawoman mothersday, womensday,

 For all the women who are mothers, motherhood is a very big part of their life. 

Motherhood for many, is a default society requirement. For some, it is a CHOICE they can make and for some, it is just an unfulfilled wish. 

No matter how successful a woman is, how goal/career oriented she is - why does the society dictate that getting married and becoming a mother will make her a complete woman? A woman's worth is her entire life full of accomplishments - big or small. Motherhood does not and should not define a Woman.

Just like how characteristics like Patience, Perseverance, Resilience, Tenderness are usually associated with and EXPECTED from women, let us also normalize associating characteristics like Strength, Determination, Courage, Being Independent, Assertive, Leadership with women. 

Irrespective of who she chooses to be - Traditional or Modern, Conservative or Outgoing, Gentle or Fierce - Let us celebrate each woman's achievements and respect her for who she is.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!!

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